Venom

"You let him do WHAT?" I screamed at the nurse as my mother pulled me back towards the elevator, "The damn man has a blood clot, a fucking blood clot in his leg, and YOU....YOU let him WALK AROUND this fucking hospital?" I seethed, "What kind of incompetent, incapable, dumb fucking nur..."

The elevator doors slid shut on my words as my mother pushed me into the back of the elevator.

"CALM DOWN!" She yelled, placing her hands firmly on my arms, "this isn't going to get solved right now, in this way."

"What a bunch of fucking incompetent ASSHOLES," I screamed, "he could die, they could ruin his legs, his circulation, it could cost him his legs!!!" I yelled, "all because it is too much fucking trouble to keep him in bed!!!" I screamed. "I'm getting him THE FUCK out of here, NOW!!!"

I stormed out of the elevator and stomped across the lobby slamming my fists against the glass doors, near breaking them, out into the hospital parking lot.

"Rachel!" my mother yelled after me, "just listen to me...yes, I think we should get him out of here, but you have to..."

"I have to WHAT?!?" I screamed, "what exactly do I have to do NOW, because I am quite sure I am the only one around here doing what the FUCK I am supposed to do!!!"

I was shaking, I was screaming, I had NEVER been this mad in my entire life.

An hour before, I was perfectly calm, collected, actually having a good day for once...

___________________________________________________________________

"Oh, Lin's daughter," the nurse said picking some food out of her back molar, "yes, he's right down the hall..." the nurse gestured.

"Down the hall?" I asked confused, "did you move his room?"

"No, no," the nurse said, "he's walking down the hall."

I looked and to my shock I saw my father shuffling down the hallway, holding onto his bedroom food tray for support. The back of his gown open and twisting behind him. He wore no underwear, no shorts, just the dirty hospital gown swayed on either side of him...and his legs were the size of tree trunks, swollen and red as a tomato.

My mother, who was coming up to the unit behind me, stepped off the elevator and upon looking at my face asked, "what is going on?"

I glanced at my mother, and back to the nurse, furious.

"You are aware he has four blood clots in his legs, arn't you?" I asked through clenched teeth, "you are aware that letting someone walk around with acute DVT's can cause stroke and severe venous damage, are you NOT?" I asked as my voice grew louder.

The nurse took a step back behind the nurses station and set her jaw, "Well, um, yes I am but you know your father has a Greenfield filter in and...well, he just doesn't want to stay in bed..."

I cut the nurse off, "OH I SEE," I began to yell, "so because he has a filter and can't have a stroke you think its ok to compromise the circulation in both of his legs just because you can't manage to KEEP.HIM. IN. BED!!!!" I bellowed.

"Miss West," I heard a voice to my left say as I saw the hospital administrator round the corner, "we let your father walk around the hospital because we thought it was preferable to restrains and you see, he is really strong..."

I exploded.

And now, I have to find a way to go back up to that floor and not get myself arrested.

"Karen, what do I have to do?" I said into my cell phone. Karen was a social worker from St. John Hospital, she was one of the only people who ever gave the situation with my father to me straight, no bows, no lightly-veiled optimism, just the facts, just reality- and I could not be more grateful to her for that.

"Well honey, you'll have to get a doctor to assess him and be willing to admit him back into the acute care hospital, " she continued, "then he'll get the care he needs for both the brain injury and the DVTs."

"Ok," I said, "I think I know a doctor who might help with that," I exhaled, "unless he is absolutely at this breaking point."

"Well Rachel," Karen said, "no one can be at that point more than you."